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Nip/Tuck Season 5: Everett Poe (Review)

Nip/Tuck

Review by Jack Foley

INDIELONDON singles out notable episodes from current television series for stand-alone reviews. On this occasion we take a look at the latest episode of Nip/Tuck: Season 5 entitled Everett Poe.

What’s the story? Sean (Dylan Walsh) and Julia (Joely Richardson) learn more about their new family dynamic as Sean resists the advances of Eden (AnnaLynne McCord), Olivia (Portia de Rossi)‘s daughter. Kate (Paula Marshall) reveals a secret compulsion. And Matt (John Hensley) is the latest blast from the past to arrive in Los Angeles with some troubling news about his relationship with Kimber (Kelly Carlson).

Was it any good? It began with a key character, erm, shitting herself in a hot tub mid-snog, continued with various shots of lesbianism and kinky sex, and concluded with, well, more bedroom action as just about every single character found a way to get laid. Oh, and there were the usual shenanigans surrounding self-doubt, parental responsibility, consumerism, fame…. yawn, yawn!

Digging a little deeper: Season 5 of plastic surgery drama Nip/Tuck is as up and down as Christian Troy (Julian McMahon)‘s libido. After an indifferent pilot episode the show managed to regain its sense of fun and easygoing enjoyment with second episode Joyce & Sharon Monroe – only to return to desperate measures for the third, Everett Poe.

This was all about sex and promiscuity and, quite frankly, it failed to arouse anything but derision. The opening sequence, when Kate dumped in the jacuzzi and admitted to taking laxatives ahead of a nude scene, bordered on the bad taste. But then we’re used to that with Nip/Tuck, just as we’re over-used to Sean’s painful attempts to do the right thing and reassure his new love interest that everything was OK. We knew it wasn’t, just as we knew Christian would take the piss (or poo, if we’re descending to their level).

No sooner had Sean removed himself from one embarrassing situation, then he was faced with another in the form of an 18-year-old temptress who wanted her hymen rebuilt (having broken it while riding a horse). Eve, as she revealed herself to be, then teased and toyed with Sean, offering him the opportunity to fill two of her three holes (mouth and anus, but not her vagina).

Sean declined and demanded to see her mother, who promptly turned out to be Julia’s lesbian lover, Olivia. Cue much soul-searching as Sean grappled with the knowledge that his daughter was desperately unhappy living with Julia’s newfound romantic situation.

Oh, but then there was more shagging. Sean again, this time struggling to stay aroused with Kate, fantasising about Eve wearing a saddle, and then violently taking Kate from behind. Did Kate mind? We don’t know, but she certainly looked uncomfortable. And why such an anal fixation in this episode?

Let’s not forget the remainder of the cast who all had sexual shenanigans to fulfil. First, Christian. Tired of being given the runaround in LA by Sean, he made his own play to re-convert Julia to heterosexual sex, and eventually got the chance to bed her.

His joy was short-lived, however, as Julia revealed that she’d been encouraged to sleep with him by Olivia, in order to get – or dare I say flush? – him out of her system. He consoled himself by posing as a male escort and giving an elderly widow the ride of her life: one of the episode’s few amusing moments was when he promised thunder storms were on the horizon to end her dry spell.

Julia, meanwhile, not content to bed-hop with Christian was also seen getting it on (but not off) with Olivia, who subsequently proposed they get married. The move didn’t really carry any shock value.

And then there’s returning son, Matt, looking so obviously shifty, and yet able to manipulate some easy cash from both his daddys. At first, it seemed he’d arrived in LA having fled Amber and the Church of Scientology. But, in truth, he’s on a drugs binge with Amber in tow. And, wouldn’t you know it, having scored the cash it was back home for some slow-mo drug taking and rampant sex.

So what have we learned? That Nip/Tuck likes its sex? Yes, but never to this extent. The bedroom antics proved laboured and tiresome and very few performed as they should have done in terms of generating any excitement.

If the season continues in this vein, it’s certain to face quite a panning. Everett Poe provided alarming proof that you can give any show a facelift, but it’ll only go so far in masking the problems it’s trying to conceal.

Still, at least it provides plenty to write about…

What did you think?

  1. I’m sorry, what was not to like?

    Jason    Apr 3    #