Dude, Where's My Car (12)

Review by Jack Foley

DUDE, Where's My Brain? more like.

This modern day Bill and Ted is a truly bogus piece of film-making, totally devoid of any sense and stupid to the point of being insulting. Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott star as two totally brain-dead dudes, Jesse and Chester, who, upon waking up trashed the morning after the night before, attempt to retrace their footsteps in order to find their car.

Inside said automobile are two anniversary gifts for their equally vacuous girlfriends which, the guys feel, will go some way to making amends for the way in which they trashed their house the night before. But, wouldn't you know it (!), these two geeks have no idea where they left their car and spend the next 83 minutes attempting to search for it. So far, so lame, you might think. Part American Pie, part Road Trip and - yep - Scott did appear in both and stood out. But anyone expecting a familiar retread of those enjoyable movies would be very much mistaken, for Dude takes a dramatic U-turn about 20 minutes in and becomes one of the most brain-achingly stupid pieces of cinema in recent memory.

The boys, it seems, hold the key to saving the universe and must fend off two rival gangs of aliens, transsexual lap dancers, ostriches and an attack from a 50 foot woman in order to find their vehicle and find true love. Director Danny Leiner attempts to make this all seem funny and `cool' by peppering it with dumb-ass jokes, toilet humour and the requisite amount of big-breasted women - but, in truth, the only people who are likely to find this remotely funny are boys who've not yet reached puberty!

There are one or two genuinely funny moments to relieve the tedium but when an 80-minute comedy becomes bum-achingly boring, you know you're in trouble. The producers should have known better and so should you!

Anyone brave enough to enter the cinema is likely to come out asking, "Dude, where's my refund?" And they'd be justified in asking. This sucks, big time, dudes!