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Compiled by: Jack Foley
Q. Why are you so happy, you're on a junket for goodness
sake?
A. Um, if I have to promote a movie, this is a pretty
good one, you know. They're pretty enthusiastic people, Guillermo
and Ron and everyone, so, it's ok [sighs].
Q. The love story was great - it was really touching
- but I have to say, at the end, when you went for the kiss, I
did sort of go, eow.
A: Really??
Q. So what was it like kissing that mask?
A. I kind of went eow as well. I had a huge crush on
Hellyboy, the whole movie. I swear to God, he was so sexy, and
charismatic, and so charming on set, I completely forgot there
was an actor underneath. I really had such a crush, and I was
kind of like, when am I going to get to kiss him? When are we
going to realise this love story? And I was so caught up, I forgot
it was latex. I just forgot, so I went in to kiss and I was a
bit impassioned, and truly, Hellboy got a little tongue from this
little lady, and it was one of the gravest mistakes of my life.
I mean, I was dying.. I couldn't stop laughing; it was the very
last thing that was shot in the movie, and when I told Guillermo
that there was a little tongue involved, he was like 'oh my God,
oh my God, no, no more, oh my God'! We were laughing, we were
having a really ridiculous time with it.
Q. Did Ron [Perlman] even notice?
A. I don't think so, because he had so much teeth. I
mean, there was a major, major barrier to any real... yeah, really
[laughs]. I mean there was a new definition for safe sex; there
was a lot of latex.
Q. There was a sort of life lesson there learned, I suppose?
A. [Looks bemused] What? What's that?
Q. Be careful before you give someone a French kiss...
A. Oh yeah, no, I can't learn that one.
Q. Is there any hope for poor Hellboy having his love
for Liz returned?
A. Oh I think by the end she really has the hots for
him. When she sees his devotion is so undying that he will go
to hell and back for her - I know that sounds like a Meatloaf
song, or something - you know, their devotion is really recognised
by both of them, at the end, and so I imagine in Hellboy 2 they
will be... full on; a little bit more than tongue, if you know
what I mean!!! No, no, I hope not [laughs]
Q. I imagine being a pyromaniac, having the hots for
someone is quite....
A. Oh, you had to, didn't you!!! You'll learn. No I think
it was so perfect because Hellboy is flame retardant. Doesn't
he make a comment in the movie? So that answered a lot for me
about how well they can work together.
Q. It sounds like a match made in hell...
A. Oh, you didn't have to!
Q. To play someone that's essentially a romantic lead,
that must have been nice for you, because they seem to always
cast you as the mean girl...
A. Yeah, I am usually the comedic antagonist. I'm always
really drawn to the misfit, or kind of the unlikeable one, that's
a little bit more interesting to me, so I do say yes to a lot
of these kind of supporting roles that are real trouble-makers,
or tightly wound snobs, or something that gives way to some comedy.
I really love entertaining. And this was really different for
me, in that she was a really strong leading lady, without a big
voice. She was merely a presence, mostly, for this movie and not
a single joke was issued from her miserable little mouth [laughs].
So it was really refreshing that I didn't have to care about being
likeable, or goofy, or anything, I really just got to be in Guillermo's
movie and do as he wished. I loved it, I loved Liz, she is a lot
closer to my own spirit than some of the others I play.
Q. Supernatural elements aside, she is closest to you,
do you get a pleasure from playing someone quite different from
all those other roles?
A. Yeah, I do, you know, I definitely come from the frame
of mind, of [sings] 'let me entertain you'. I like to kind of
ham it up. Even in my own life, I couldn't be a more miserable
bag of rocks, you know. I don't have any of that in my day to
day life, so it's always really fun to go on set and brighten
things up a little.
And this one was a tiny bit scary; it wasn't really challenging
for me to play Liz, but it was a bit uncomfortable for me to play
someone that's as much an isolationist, as I tend to be, and as
much as, you know, pretend to let everything hang out, dark circles
and all, you know. To finally play a leading lady and have it
look so unleading lady like was a really unusual thing.
Q. What did you get up to when everyone else was in four
hours of make-up?
A. [Laughs] I was probably just coming in from the night.
Sorry mom. I was really lucky. They had four hours of make-up;
I must have had 20 minutes of make-up tops. And that was just
to put my wig on; I don't think I wore a speck of make-up in that
movie, and I had a lot of long nights in Prague, because it was
really kind of a great surprise to me. It was a jazz club-type
of town, and, you know, a little Slipowicz goes a long way [laughs].
Q. And cheap too....
A. Yeah, exactly, I was a real cheap date with myself
out in Prague, so I could afford to go out a lot!
Q. Seems like now you almost have to dodge other people's
films and English stag parties?
A. Yeah, that's really funny. It's true, there were so
many English stag parties, they really looked foolish, it was
cute. They leave the country so they can really misbehave in Prague.
Q. They do that here too!
A. Oh really? They do in the States, too, but they take
it all to Vegas, and that's just so sleazy you don't notice. And
there's so many films there now that I don't even know if we'll
shoot the sequel there. I mean, I've no idea, but it seems to
be getting really crowded with that type of thing, and they're
probably not so inexpensive now that they've really cornered the
market on it. God gamn, them!
Q. I have visions of you partying in Prague with John
Hurt and David Hyde Pierce...
A. [Laughs] I like to paint a picture that I'm a real
party girl, I wish. I actually was out with John Hurt and, um,
and guess what? I'm pregnant! [Room erupts with laughter] Oh,
my publicist is having a fit now. I told her, I told her before
we came in, Nicole, please remind me to be a lady in this, I really,
really want to come off ok. And she said, 'I'll try!' She just
gave me such a look...
Q. John Hurt does like a drink of course?
A. I don't know about any of that but he is very charming
and, actually, we really all just went to dinner. It really was
a really long, lovely night out with a bunch of friends. We really
got on so well and Guillermo really set the tone for being utterly
professional, and yet really, really loving and taking the piss
out of each other. It was a really familial set, so all that other
stuff is actually rubbish, but I wish it wasn't! [Aside] I wish
it were not so, as I long for a little Hurt baby! No. Again, I
can see Nicole's eyes on me. I was surprised how young he was,
though, because he plays Broom so effectively. I mean, he's like
a really young guy; he's completely.
Q. Really?
A. Oh yeah, he plays Broom to play 85; he's the most
amazing transformative actor.
Q. He's wrinkly...
A. He's not wrinkly! You bitch! No, no, he's so handsome,
I mean God. I'm going to stop going on about him!!!
Q. Didn't you have your husband there?
A. No, I met my husband after the movie.
Q. So the romance of the movie set you up for real-life?
A. Yes, exactly. I thought I need to find my own little
Hellboy, and I did!
Q. Where did you meet him?
A. We were a blind date.
Q. Wow, do people do blind dates with you?
A. It was the first. Actually, one other I'd had in the
past, where he had me pay his way and my own [laughs], so I wasn't
really keen, as you might say, on going on another, but my friend,
Amanda, who I really trust, said 'I have your husband', and I
said, 'that's odd, I don't want to get married', and I don't want
the time out and blah, blah, blah. But this trip to Prague has
really sort of undone me.. I was alone so much in Prague, I really
was not out partying at all, but I was really alone reading like
Kakfka and Pindera, and really working myself into a real, like,
lonely frenzy...
Q. You've gone from party girl to library boy in the
space of this interview...
A. I know, we'll find a balance in this story somewhere.
So she set me up with someone, cos she thought it would be really
good for me after this whole experience, and after 10 minutes
I fell in love with him.
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Q. Does it prove to you that
romance and love at first sight therefore works? Did you believe
that before?
A. Yeah, I mean, I believed it when I was younger, and
then I got a bit long in the tooth to believe all that crap. You
know, I just thought, aah, whatever, you can make anything work,
or not work, and I was really jaded about it. I didn't believe
in miracles anymore, and then... ah, it brings a tear to your
eye, doesn't it? And then I did, to find a companion that I get
along with so well, and to be able to work through finding a way
to have a relationship pretty successfully, even though we've
only known each other for about a week, is really uplifting to
me. He really gets my sense of humour, and not a lot of people
do, I hope each and every one of you do, so that I don't sound
like a real asshole.
Q. So what did he think of your scene kissing Hellboy?
A. I think he liked it, but he's a huge Hellboy fan and
he got his very own live action doll. He was a fan before he met
me, so that was kind of interesting. Guillermo made fun of him
a bit; he's kind of the ultimate fan. But he liked the kiss. I
think he was so happy to see Hellboy and Liz together, because
in the comic it's not that way at all.
Q. So he wasn't a purist about it then?
A. No, the tone and the characters are remarkably similar.
This is an amazing adaptation, I think, and I think most of the
fans to, too. But I thikn the relationships were altered for dramatic
effect. Certainly, it really made Hellboy much more endearing,
to have such a devotion and a love interest with another misfit.
Q. Did you know anything about the character before the
script arrived? Had you read the comics?
A. I knew nothing. I didn't know what Hellboy was at
all. It was Guillermo that made me believe in the project. I signed
on for Hellboy 1 and 2 without even really reading the script;
I think I just flipped through it, because I knew Guillermo was
making it, and then I loved it. I loved what a strong leading
lady she was, but yet so really, really human and flawed, and
full of guilt and all these other things that make humans come
undone.
Q. It was your first big effects picture. Was that a
new discipline to learn?
A. No, I have to say, this movie was such a cake walk
for me, I mean Guillermo really created this entire world, so
you walk on to set, and you're there, you know, and Liz, I played
her really kind of, so much like a regular girl, cos she ultimately
was; she had this power that showed itself so rarely in the movie,
um, that it was really easy. I mean, they added the flames afterwards,
so I felt a bit awkward, onset, with my arms out-stretched, and
people are really like chewing gum, and trying my darndest to
look really, really intense. But I trusted Guillermo to make it
alright in the end.
Q. So were you dodging an imaginary Hellboy tail?
A. No Hellboy was full-on real! No, I loved him, he was
real! I'm sorry, I just looked at you like you said the craziest
thing! It's so embarrassing. No, everyone was real, all the monsters.
I didn't see a green screen. Ooh, excuse me, I'm about to have
tuberculosis [turns away and coughs]. All the monsters were really
there. The monsters were there, and the tentacles moved, and they
were in the water, and Hellboy was very much there. It was all
fully realised, so I was really spoiled. If I go on another fantasy
set again, and I have to look at a tennis ball as a monster, I
wouldn't know what to do. I would be beside myself, missing Guillermo.
He really took great pains to make this world come alive for all
of us, and himself, I'm sure.
Q. You've been working with our Steve Coogan....
A. Aaah, my love!
Q. Really? What was that like?
A. I think that he is one of the sweetest, funniest men.
I was not really even familiar with Alan Partridge. I hear people
love it, love it, love it. His attention to detail is so amazing,
it makes his comedy come to life, even in person. He's such good
fun, we had a great time together, and my part was kind of small
in that movie, but I did play a woman that was really in love
with him, so I got to really hang about him.
Q. It's his first big kind of Hollywood leading man...
He did Around The World, but that was Jackie Chan as well....
A. Yeah, this one is definitely a dramatic role for him.
He's a real kind of film noir type of guy. It's really serious.
I don't think he's funny in it, because it's not that type of
role. So it was a real departure for him. But to get to meet him,
and to work with him, it was really spectacular, and we had a
great time. I'm really looking to find a project that the two
of us can work on together. I think we both really want to do
something kind of comedic together.
Q. Have you seen any Alan Partridge then?
A. No, I have since. But at the time, yeah, he's really,
really, really.. I've seen kind of moments of it, and then I've
been asking people here, you know, for more details. But we don't
have it in the States, so I'll have to send away...
Q. And Ursula Udders? I presume she's a right cow?
A. Oooh, oh my God!!! No, she is udder-ly. No, Ursula
was so much fun to play because John Waters is such a character,
I mean completely a different world than Guillermo, or Todd Solondz,
or the other directors that I've loved so much for their own specific
brand of... humour, in a way. John really, really romanticised
the loud ugliness more than anyone that I've encountered and made
them charming in their way. I'm so glad I got to work with John,
he's a real American icon, although independent film-maker. His
films aren't my first choice to see, they make me feel so queezy,
so very queezy, and this one was no exception; this is a real,
I think John's really happy with this one. It's really joyous,
though; there's nothing about his films that are mean-spirited,
and I love that about John, they're all with the intention to
celebrate whatever it is that we're seeing.
Q. Do you have anything queezy in your performance?
A. No, actually Ursula, other than her gi-normous boobs,
she's pretty normal, like I don't know, maybe that doesn't say
the right thing about me, that I think she's normal. She's a sex
addict, who's kind of a go-go dancer, albeit not a very good go-go
dancer with breasts like that. I mean go-go dancing is really
marketed towards the Twiggy frame...
Q. What about the rumours surrounding your breasts?
A. The rumours are not true, John saw some rumours on
some website, that said 'isn't that awful, Selma Blair really
went out and had implants put in to please her director' and all
that stuff....
Q. They were really milking it....
A. Oh, you just started... Please.. Ah bless you. They're
latex, much like my love interest's lips in Hellboy.
Q. With these prosthetics, presumably it changed the
way people looked at you, and the way you walked?
A. [Nods inn agreement] I did walk a bit like a pregnant
woman with the baby in her chest. I wasn't attractive, you know,
they don't suit me. And they really were that extra large. I had
to have my clothes made for me and everything on the movie. It's
only for a real fetishist, these boobs were.
Yeah, I did, I walked out of my apartment one morning, having
taken four hours to have them put on by a very patient young man
named Connor, who's seen all of me now, with greeting me first
thing in the morning. I walked out of my apartment, and I'm wearing
a bath-robe, and I have these very real-looking large breasts,
and they're painted, everything, nipples, etc, and there was a
construction crew camped outside my apartment, erecting a building,
and I just thought it was a good laugh, and just undid the robe
and was like, 'hey boys!' And it did not have the desired reaction.
I just thought they'll love it, they'll think it's great, but
I think half of them went home sick [laughs]. There was not a
single whistle, anything. I heard like clank, clank... they're
fucking scary; they're big, you know, you wouldn't know what to
do, they're more than an eyeful, for sure.
Q. What did John say when you told him that?
A. He just laughed, but I think he wasn't really pleased
about me showing off the goods before the film came out. It was
like, 'you shouldn't be showing those things'. And I'm like 'anyone
has to use their imagination'!
Q. What's next for you, Selma?
A. Um, I don't know, I'll probably get a job at like
the Dunkin Donuts. I think Top Shop is taking applications. No,
I don't know, excuse me [sneezes]. So, I think, I have a movie
[is passed a tissue], oh God, do I have something hanging about?
You're really helpful in the grooming of Selma Blair...
Q. What a wonderful title for a movie?
A. So that's my next project! No, I don't really have
anything lined up. There's a few things I'm looking at, and we'll
see if they come together. We're going to go on a honeymoon. My
husband deserves one.
Q. Where are you going to go? Prague?
A. Yeah, probably the Czech Republic. I really want to
get to know it. [Laughs] No, I'll probably go on a ski vacation
or something. I'm kind of sporty.
Q. How long were you together before you got married?
A. Um, we were together, he asked me after eight days,
and then we got married, I went and shot A Dirty Shame, and he
still loved me after that, so we got married straight away, in
Carrie Fisher's back yard.
Q. What do you do to a bloke to make him ask you after
eight days?
A. Oh, I couldn't tell you that. No, can you imagine?
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