My Top Ten Turkies of 2001 - Jack Foley

GIVEN the amount of disappointments released on unsuspecting movie-goers during the course of the year, it was fairly easy to pick out which ones sucked the most. It is during moments like the ones contained below that the joy of being a critic is sorely tested. In the case of Dude, Where's My Car, it can be excruciatingly painful!!!

Fortunately, I managed to avoid seeing some of the biggest stinkers of the year - such as Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, or Scary Movie 2, but 2001 wasn't without its dull and disappointing moments, most notably in the case of some of the bigger blockbusters - step forward, Messrs Bruckheimer and Bay!

So here, without further ado, is my selection - starting from 10. Let us know what you think...

10

Title: The Mummy Returns (12)

Why? A cynical attempt to cash in on the success of the original - it worked, but was soulless.

Dumbest scene: John Hannah fighting - and winning.


9

Title: Zoolander (12)

Why? A one-joke catwalk comedy which was the model of imperfection. A huge disappointment.

Dumbest scene: Anything involving the film's central baddie, Mugatu.


8

Title: Nowhere To Hide (15)

Why? Director Lee Myung-Se goes for style over content and succeeds. The effect is numbing.

Dumbest scene: Detective Woo has yet another fight while interrogating a suspect.


7

Title: Legally Blonde (12)

Why? Clueless goes to law school and tries to be cool. It felt like a long prison stretch.

Dumbest scene: The winning of the court case, so cheesy it hurt.


6

Title: Vertical Limit (12)

Why? Cheap thrills atop a snowy mountain become buried under an avalanche of cliche.

Dumbest scene: Scott Glenn finally finds his long-lost, dead wife.


5

Title: Dracula 2001 (15)

Why? Wes Craven presents a toothless re-working of the vampire legend which was a pain in the neck.

Dumbest scene: The plane sequence as dracula is re-born.


4

Title: Driven (PG)

Why? Rocky translates to the race track and crashes as a result. Driven it may be named, drivel it is.

Dumbest scene: The groan-inducing finale. Have you guessed what it is yet?


3

Title: John Carpenter's The Ghosts of Mars (15)

Why? Former horror-master Carpenter reaches his lowest point. Total crap.

Dumbest scene: 'If we set off the nuclear bomb, what will happen?'


2

Title: Pearl Harbor (12)

Why? Technically superb but a film which showed scant regard for history.

Dumbest scene: 'And then all this happened'


1

Title: Dude, Where's My Car? (12)

Why? Dude, where's my brain, more like... this sucked big time, bro!

Dumbest moment: The whole film