Steel Panther – Balls Out (Review)
Review by Jack Foley
DEBAUCHED, loud, obnoxious, f**ked up and juvenile… welcome to the world of Steel Panther.
In the US, they’ve become something of an institution given that they can lay claim to playing LA’s longest running heavy metal show on the Sunset Strip for nearly a decade now (currently at the infamous House of Blues every Monday night).
While the foursome’s debut album, Feel The Steel, was a massive hit on both sides of the Atlantic, shifting 45,000 copies in the UK alone.
But in truth, unless you lean towards the misogynistic, view women as sex objects and have a spotty disposition that places you among the horny adolescent man-child brigade, there’s very little to appeal on this sophomore effort, Balls Out.
Echoing the sensibilities (and poking fun) at the hard rock antics of former heavy metal greats such as Motley Crue and company, Steel Panther exist to have fun and mostly have sex. There’s drugs too… and alcohol. But the emphasis in on sexual pleasure, whether it’s self-gratification or filling any hole going.
This is evident from the outset on the thumping second track Supersonic Sex Machine, which finds Michael Starr and company wailing about their sexual prowess, while hitting you with killer riffs. Admittedly, when placing the emphasis on themselves, the ‘fun’ element is pretty fun and takes you back to the heady days of Kiss and the Crue in their prime.
There’s even a certain comedy attached to a song called Just Like Tiger Woods, which veers towards pop-rock and tackles a male ego that’s as swinging with women as Mr Woods is on the golf course!
But there’s something distasteful about lyrics that find the Panther boasting about “f*cking 17 girls in a row” and having to pay the maid a $100 bill to clean the wet spot from the sheets, or declaring “don’t mind when I put it in your booty, or moan if I’m up all night playing Call lf Duty”.
Admittedly, that latter lyric comes from one of the album highlights, the pop-rock mid-tempo former single that is If You Really Really Love Me, which offers a dirty alternative to God Gave Rock N Roll To You in the anthemic stakes.
A comical look at the mess that comes with drug addiction also provides another unlikely highlight late on, with I Like Drugs.
But at most other times, they descend to the irretrievably bad on songs such as It Won’t Suck Itself, That’s What Girls Are For (which insists “when I want an ice cold beer, get it real quick and say ‘yes dear’”), Gold Digging Whore, Let Me Cum In and especially Critter.
Perhaps even worse, there’s such a lack of variety in the instrumentals that many of the songs sound the same – although given that they’re mostly banging on about the same old things, perhaps that’s little wonder.
The album may be called Balls Out, but what emerges is more of a balls up in my opinion.
Download picks: Supersonic Sex Machine, If You Really Really Love Me, I Like Drugs
Track listing: