Borat - Borat Sagdiyev interview
Interview by Rob Carnevale
Kazakhstan reporter Borat Sagdiyev (played by Sacha Baron Cohen) talks about travelling to America and appearing in his own movie. Please note, this interview was conducted in character and may be considered offensive to some…
Q. Tell us about yourself…
Borat: My name Borat Sagdiyev, hello how you doing? I son of Asimbala Sagdiyev and Boltok the rapist, I am former husband of Oxana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Mariam Tulyakbay and Boltok the rapist.
My hobbies are disco dance, table tennis and also taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. Why not? I have three childrens. Bilak, the eldest, is 12 and he have two childrens. He have arrive here recently with his wife and his new child who he is hoping to sell to your famous singer Madonna. My sister has made my family very proud by being most successful prostitute in all of Kazakhstan and recently received an award.
I also have a brother name a Bilo. He is a retard with very strong arms but a tiny heard like a chicken. He have 300 teeth, four of which are in nose. My first wife is dead. High five! I did not kill her. She was in a wood and a hunter mistook her for a bear because she have much hair on arm and back. No problem, I have a new wife. She is nice.
Q. How do you like to relax?
Borat: I like relax like any ordinary man. I like shoot dogs and I have mouth party with my sister and I drink fermented horse urine. It’s a very normal life.
Q. What has the reaction in Kazakhstan been like to your movie?
Borat: At first my government was worried about the level of anti-Semitism in my movie. However, eventually they decided there was just enough of it. It have a been a great success in all three cinemas in our nation. It took the top spot from King Kong which have been number one since it was release in 1932.
Q. What’s your reaction to people who call you racist?
Borat: Thank you very much. There is not truth in reports that Kazakhstan is unhappy with me. It’s actually propaganda from people in Uzbekistan who, as everybody knows, are very nosy people.
Q. You’ve been to Washington recently and met George Bush. What is your opinion of him?
Borat: We in Kazakhstan very much admire George Walter Bush, not merely as he is a wise man but also because he is strong – but not as strong as his father, Barbara.
Q. What surprised you about America?
Borat: I was very surprised to see that woman is allowed to drive a car. This could never happen in Kazakhstan — it too dangerous. We say that “to let woman drive a car is like to let monkey fly a plane”. We do not allow this since 2003 Astana air crash.
Q. What were you surprised by in US and A?
Borat: I was very surprised to learn it is now illegal to shoot at Red Indians. And I would like to use this opportunity to apologise once more to the staff of the Potawatomi Casino in Nebraska. I think they like it. Make them dance!
Q. What was your best experience in the US?
Borat: I must tell you that I like very much their delicious food. I went to a restaurant called McDonald’s, which is so fancypants, it actually have a separate room to make sh*t in. While I am there, I eat 17 of their delicious hamboorgers and 600 sachets of the red soup, the ketchup, and the next day my anoos was hanging loose like the mouth of a tired dog.
Q. How would you encourage people to visit Kazakhstan?
Borat: I am very much trying to encourage people to visit. If you come, you must stay at Astana Funworld, which is a new resort where there is luxury cages for the women, there is an unlimited buffet of Turkmenistan prostitutes for the mens and for the childrens, hunting opportunities can shoot dog, wildebeest and gypsy.
Q. What makes a good wife?
Borat: A good wife must be strong enough to pull a plough and have a very erotic physique.
Q. What do you think about Sacha Baron Cohen?
Borat: I have no communication with this Mr Cohen and I fully support my government’s decision to sue this Jew.
Q. What do you consider your best TV ‘covering’ so far? Are you going to visit Italy?
Borat: I will not be visiting Italy soon because our country’s camera is being used for the next ten months. It is being used to shoot a new version of Kasakhstan Big Brother produced by Azamat Bagatov. He produced the last series of Big Brother, where four of the women contestants became pregnant. In fact, it was his idea to put Urkin the Rapist in the house.
Q. What’s your advice for someone who wants to be the new Borat?
Borat: My advice is, you must get a good education in English. To be a good journalist, you must have experience of other jobs. I previously worked as an ice-maker and a gypsy-catcher and I also worked in computer maintenance. I was the one who would paint the outsides and remove dead birds from the pipes. And I work also extracting spermatozoa from animals which I have done 11 years.